Good manners - are they disappearing too quickly?

Leonie arrived back from her doctor's appointment for morning coffee with the team here. She was furious. Not because she was running late and not because she couldn't find a parking spot.

She sat down, ordered her favourite latté (the one that "bounces") and then told us about her appointment. Acknowledging the fact that doctors lists seem endless, and appointments have to be made at six weeks in advance, this in no way excused the treatment and attitude of the doctor when Leonie at last was called into his rooms, a matter of an hour and a half after when her appointment was scheduled.

Leonie is organised, so much so that everywhere she goes she writes herself lists and ensures that everything on that list is attended to before attending to other matters, like visiting the Body Shop and buying all sorts of lovely beauty treatments as a special treat (which she does quite often!), or doing some window-shopping or taking sandwiches down to the local park to watch the ducks on the lake.

So we were most surprised when she regaled what had happened this morning.

Let her explain: The Dr was in a bad mood and this was quite obvious from his first comments, "well what do you want today?" I had my short list and told him I needed a repeat prescription, as well as wanting to know the results of some blood tests he had arranged for me a fortnight ago. Yet it was the request for a referral document to a specialist that really got him going and following a tirade which lasted about 8 minutes, I was so stunned that I began to shake and was near to tears. I quickly quelled that feeling. His reason for the tirade? Completing the documents took him too long and he felt I was asking too much! When I explained that the specialist had asked for this paperwork, he mumbled and grumbled and slapped his keyboard in time with his deep and exasperated sighs.

I couldn't believe it when he asked me why I visited the specialist in the first place (it was at his own direction); and demanded to know why I was visiting him to do my paperwork and to get my BP reading as well as write out a new prescription for a tablet he put me on a matter of six months ago. He sat back in his chair and loudly said "I'm not your Doctor so why am I in the picture?"

It took me only 5 minutes to prove that he had accepted me as a patient more than 8 months ago, when another Dr at the same practice had left, and that I had been to see him every six weeks during that time (at his request) He went through the records and had to admit I was right.

I then said to him, "Dr, I know you're busy and by the same reasoning I know that I need a referral. You've made me feel a nuisance and I would hate to think that after all this time that it is not my size that is affecting your attitude towards me today. It's not something that bothers me usually, but this morning you've shown annoyance with me beyond just your being busy."

The doctor then stood up, opened the door and almost pushed me out into the corridor. I smiled sweetly and said, as I walked towards the exit, "I do hope you have a good day and are much nicer to your next patient".

This sort of story is repeated day in and day out, for countless thousands of women. Leonie doesn't jump to conclusions or make assumptions about people and their attitudes, but as she spoke this morning, each of us wondered whether size had come into the equation. Or was that simply imagination?