The cost of being plus-size! Part 1

The bombardment of guilt by the media, as well as the fashion and health industries remains constant and angry. The hostility shown towards women of size has to be recognised as discrimination although the people who could make a difference are indifferent and arrogant and refuse to even accept the fact that they show disdain.

The threats that if you are a hundred kilo or a few kilo heavier than what is seen to be the "ideal" weight are frightening in their intensity. It's not a matter of these people having a real concern for how we feel and look and how healthy we are, it's a matter of them yelling at us (like small naughty children) to do as they say, or else!

We're made to feel inadequate. We're made to feel bad and wrong. We're made to feel stupid and ashamed. Do they enjoy this sort of behaviour towards us? Because it seems to me that if they really cared, then they'd be taking a different stance on the problems that beset us.

Manufacturers and suppliers and retailers don't care. It's quite obvious. Just go into any store, including K Mart and Target, and will you find "nice" clothes? Go on be honest. You'll probably find clothes, many of which you wouldn't bother buying and wearing. But sometimes you have to buy them, because there isn't anything else available. This is not an exaggeration, because I've been in this situation far too many times that I've lost count. I visit these stores every season, and what do I usually find? OK. Tee shirts, even round neck tee shirts, which don't do a thing for any plus-size woman with a bust. And the colour range doesn't change much year to year. Then you've got pants (or slacks as many women still call them) in black, navy and maybe brown or grey. Shirts - similar styles in a few colours. Sometimes even long skirts or shorts. Oh yes there's a selection to choose from - not!

But I dare you to go into the other departments, the departments that cater for everyone else. What do you find? Racks and racks and racks of different styles, different styles, different colours, and different fabrics.

What is wrong with retailers and their buyers? Can't they see the huge market they're missing out on? But I reckon they do see, and they don't care. Because the turnover of the smaller garments is greater and they want more and more slimmer and smaller people in their stores. Even stores that deal in some of the lower ranges of plus sizes put their racks towards the back of the store. It's almost as though it is a matter of out of sight, out of mind.

I've asked buyers many times about this imbalance. Some of them won't answer the question, while others will try and change the subject. Those who are brave enough to answer will tell you that it is the store's policy not to have plus-sizes in great numbers even though they have women coming to them and asking them for more selections. This is crazy. It's a contradiction. And yet retailers blithely go on their merry way, discounting us as important and a problem.

Introduction

It started off as a simple case of standing up for what I believe in. Me! And it has turned into a crusade that goes on and on. It seemed appropriate at first to write things down in a small notebook of how I saw myself and how the world saw me. I wanted to get things straight in my mind before tackling what I saw to be discrimination against big people, and particularly big women.

So that notebook became the prototype of a small newsletter. Written to a few friends, all of whom were "fat" just like me. A small quarto pager folded in half, and posted out by ordinary mail. They read it, passed it onto friends, and they passed it onto their friends. In bringing to their attention the fact that many more women were feeling depressed and guilty (about their weight) and were feeling just like them, it became clear to me that I had chosen a path that would ultimately provide a forum for women everywhere to voice their opinions, their views and their observations about life as a plus-size woman in today's society.

As it often happens, there were women from other countries who were embarking on the same mission. But I didn't know it at that time. Because I came on the scene in the late 80s and early 90s, and here in Australia at any rate, women hadn't embraced the use of home computers let alone the wonder of the internet and email. But of course these soon took hold, and the world has changed considerably, because of that technology.

So why am I bothering in commencing a blog? Well it seems to me, and I may be a little naive, but women everywhere are still suffering from the barbs and stings of inappropriate attitudes and behaviour by other people, all because they are not slim, trim and svelte. Nothing really has changed over the past twenty years in the general public's attitude towards women of size. In fact, and even though I'm an optimist most of the time, it seems to be that things are even a little worse than they used to be. It's all very subtle, and sometimes insidious but it's there.

So some friends from the US and here in Australia have convinced me that I should take on "blogging". Now I know (as you certainly do, there are hundreds of thousands of bloggers out there, and maybe even a few thousand or more who are doing exactly what I am doing, or now attempting to do. And if that's true, then that's great, because it means that there are many of us focussing on the problem, facing the problem, and finding ways of solving the problem. Maybe in a small way, but it only takes lots of small things to become a big thing.

So what is the blog going to do? It's going to be honest, and it's going to offer hints and strategies to help plus-size women who haven't yet gained the courage to stand up for who they believe in - themselves. It's going to make some women question themselves and their own attitudes towards themselves, and it's going (hopefully) to inspire women everywhere to stand up for their rights. Without shouting, without wildly entering into protest marches and screaming for something to be done, without losing their dignity in becoming argumentative and hostile, but with gentle persuasion to change people's attitudes.

And I carry a small notebook around with me everywhere I go, because it's amazing what you see and what you think about as you meet and mix with other people.