I'm a Blogger - I'm a Slogger!

For those overseas readers who may not know what a "slogger" is, and I'm not being disrespectful, it's just that so many words we use daily are not words that are used in another State, let alone another part of the world!. a "slogger" is a person who pursues an ideal but doesn't find that pursuit to be easy. In other words, it's hard work! "She "slogs" at her studies", for instance.

So there are times when I find I'm slogging away, thinking I'm not achieving much. Then out of the blue, someone tells me - hey, I learnt a lot from what you said. So that makes me feel good, and I feel I have achieved. Because I'm a great believer in doing small things right, and big things may be accomplished. Take the little acorn for instance, for from that will grow a mighty oak!

I went shopping yesterday. I need some new winter clothes. Even though we're still in the middle of summer (and the terrible bushfires are still burning), the nights get surprisingly chilly - 3 or 4 degrees overnight and daytime temperatures up in the high 30s (that's Celsuis). Called in at the so-called "boutique" stores - 5 or 6 of them.

Here's something of the conversation at one of them. "Sorry, we don't have much in the way of your size". "Well, what do you have in stock?" "Ummmm. Well nothing to be honest". "But you have a sign written in big gold letters that you stock from sizes 14 through to 30". "Yes, well, we can get you something in if you want it in a bigger size, but we don't hold anything here". "Why?" "What?" "No, I asked why?" "I don't know". "Well could I suggest that the proprietor thinks seriously about either removing the sign on the window or else at least getting half a dozen nice frocks in the larger sizes. Otherwise you're misleading prospective customers, and that's not quite legal". "Oh".

After walking out of the 5th store, once again frustrated and annoyed, I walked along to K Mart. Now, I usually get something from this store, even though it is "mass produced" and every other lady who is my size and more will be wearing the very same garment come the winter (or summer as the case may be); not that I am really over the moon about the styles, or the fabrics, but at least they usually sit on the body and can make me look OK. Those garments don't "fit" the body or flow over the body, they just "sit", but that's beside the point really because they are "usually" available. They're "servicable" and sometimes "affordable", that's about all that's really going for them. Went through rows and rows and racks and racks of slacks (pants); jackets; tops; tee shirts; crop pants; shorts (yes they're promoting shorts for winter!); and I found one (yes one) top that took my eye. Found it fitted me and will go well with my selection of black pants for everyday wear. Nice.

I then went into the lingerie department. My eyes goggled at the sight of so many bras and pantie sets - a kaleidoscope of colours, satins, laces, embellishments; bust maximisers; bust minimisers; cleavage enhancers, you name it. In "all sizes"say the billboards above each rack. I'm excited. I'm almost jumping for joy. I look at my watch and give myself an hour to find a couple of bras and pantie sets, a couple of nice nightgowns, and even a dressing gown.

Thirty minutes later I'm almost at the stage of stamping my foot. Nowhere in this store are there bras or panties in my size even though the racks are clearly marked "18-24". It's not that I'm in the higher bracket of being plus-size, but anyone would think that a woman size 18 or more is invisible. "Sorry", came the explanation again, "we don't have much call for the bigger sizes". "That's not the point", I answer. "Your signs expressly say larger sizes, you nominate 18-24 and then you don't have any stock." "There's not much call for it." "Do you have a moment or can I speak with your supervisor please?" "I am the supervisor". "Good, then, please come with me". I took her to the cash register and said, "Look at every woman who comes through your cash registers and tell me there's no call for the plus-sizes in your store, or for all your stores in the country." She looked, she nodded, and then she started taking notes.

She then said to me, "I hadn't realised". I respectfully told her that that was the trouble. Retailers and the fashion industry on the whole don't realise because they don't care a jot about the plus size women of this world.

Until such time as these industries, retailers, fashion and indeed the media, come to realise that plus-size women are just that - plus size, and treat them with courtesy and respect, then we will continue to be discriminated in many of the fundamental aspects of life - particularly as in this instance, in our clothing (or lack of it!)

Suffice to say I walked out of the store with no purchases at all. I didn't even bother going to see the nightgowns and dressing gowns. I'll leave that to another day, when I have the energy to take the store on again!

What are we eating?

There's been two aspects of food running in the news lately. One is that so much is being imported - take for instance small brand-name crackers, made in China. What about dried fruits (which used to be one of our proud products)? Even our garlic is imported from China for goodness sake! Fish in the supermarkets labelled "fresh", but I ask you, are we so stupid to believe their word "fresh" especially when the label then says, "imported from Korea"? Who's kidding who?

Look at any food stuffs and it's difficult to work out where the food (whether processed or not) is grown and packed. Why are so many labelled with the words, "made from local and imported ingredients", but nowhere does it tell you what is local and what is "imported"!. In fact even the suppliers can't tell you - or won't! But why when a country had so many successful manufacturing companies of every food imaginable, does it see fit to allow those companies to die or become part of overseas empires, and to rely on imported foods? Yet another great Australian company passed into the hands of foreign investment only this week. There can't be too many left which are dinky di Aussies! In fact I'd be surprised if many people know of any authentic Australian foods now.

The second aspect of food was in a recent newspaper. It seems the ridiculous hike in food prices has even surprised the critics. During the past 18 months prices in staple foods - bread, milk, rice, fruit, vegetables etc have risen more then three times the prices of fizzy drinks, hamburgers, and general junk-food. (I don't include fast-food because all of us know there's a big difference!). So surprise, surprise, people who are on low or no incomes (single parent families, the elderly, and in fact the majority of us) find they have to buy food that isn't quite so good for us, than it is to buy food that will nourish us and keep us healthy. This means more people are eating foods which fill us up, rather than do us good!

As a result of the on-going drought conditions here, and the drying up of many of our major rivers, even the Government is suggesting that farmers walk away from their irrigation farms! Where's the sense in that? The land, and Australia is the driest continent, is drying up even moreso. Farmers have recently been bulldozing their orchard trees as well as grape vines, in order to try something else. No water! In some areas farmers even have to apply to their local councils or state government and have to pay for a permit to actually pump water from their own dams! The areas where crops and pastoral families have survived for generations, is changing. Another suggestion is for fruit growers to "move" to other States - i.e. further north, in order to take advantage of the tropical rains. I'm a city girl (but that doesn't make any difference) because I see what is happening to farmers, yet common sense tells me that something strange is going on, and it's not only here in Australia.

So the drought, coupled with the disastrous bushfires that have swept across the southern states while the northern states are being floodbound, means that more and more farmers are going broke. Less and less food being grown. Less meat and meat products being produced. Less fishing being allowed. Less choice for the homemaker. And with stringent water restrictions many people who would like to grow their own fruit and vegetables find that without water they can't.

Where to from here?

Emotional Abuse! - 2

At a recent self-esteem talk among a group of women, someone asked me just what forms of "emotional abuse" am I talking about, as it relates to being plus-size. That got me thinking because emotional abuse based on size impacts upon every single aspect of a plus-sizer's life. It effects how that person feels and deals with situations and attitudes within the home, the school, the workplace and the community.

It effects the whole emotional being of a person. It permeates the mind and a person can be faced with constant negative self-talk all day and every day. It manifests itself in guilt - each bite of food brings with it feelings of immense guilt and embarrassment. Such feelings build up until such time as the person loses all sense of proportion and perspective and binges. Then the diets begin. And guilt resurfaces from another angle - more negative self talk - and the spiral downwards into a feeling of utter despair and inadequacy becomes a living nightmare. A monotonous and dangerous life-style of dieting and binging and more dieting can become a habit. Causing havoc all the way.

Emotional abuse can be scathing; can be cruel; can be subtle; can be not-subtle; can be insidious; can be soul destroying. It can become physically destroying as well. Some plus-sizers live on the edge; relying on medication to get them through a day; they live scared and frightened lives, all due to the fact that other people (and sometimes this includes family and/or friends) can upset the balance by saying and inferring and eluding to a person's size in conversation, or through looks and suggestive hand-movements. Plus-sizers can be treated like naughty children; they can be totally ignored; they can be made feel unacceptable in many effective but totally inappropriate ways.

And let me say something so simple that quite often it can be unseen. While there are occasions when family and/or friends are trying to be helpful, the majority of times they are not. They want the plus-sizer to "do what they're told" and doing what they're told means, "lose weight!" The irony of this is that if the person does lose weight, they are still treated as if they were larger or heavier. Then a really weird thing happens. Quite often the women in the family or some within a group of friends turn nasty against the person who has lost the weight; and caustic remarks about other facets of her looks or her life become part of the new vocabulary between them. It doesn't make sense, but it happens. Women sometimes can be our worst enemy!

But I'm not talking about those trying to help, I'm talking about those who take pleasure in making fun or a plus-sizer within a family or among friends. I have often told so-called friends that they are anything but. Friends don't pull each other to pieces verbally; they don't harp on what a plus-sizer wears or looks like - they do give constructive advice especially when asked, and they do offer to go shopping with their plus-size friends and give advice on simple things like colours that suit; designs that look better than others; hemlines and things like that. That gives the plus-sizer guidelines that she can follow because she starts seeing herself through the eyes of her friend.

Emotional abuse can start as young as kindergarten age and even younger. It can continue right throughout a person's life. What a terrible shame, that plus-sizers have to confront this sort of hostility from people who should care but who don't.

Emotional Abuse!

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A lot of people, and this goes for most people in western societies at least, form the opinion that because a person is plus-size then they deserve to be treated as less than acceptable. They may not actually put it into words always, but they certainly show by their behaviour that this is what they think.

This inappropriate behaviour can range from disdain and indifference, through intolerance, and then into ridicule. All these behaviours represent one thing and one thing only discrimination based on size and as a consequence those behaviours shout "emotional abuse".

Yet you ask anyone who shows you contempt or treats you unfairly or makes you feel embarrassed because of your size, whether they are abusing you, and they’ll quickly say "of course not!" Just who are they trying to kid?

But emotional abuse and quite often verbal abuse or whatever they like to call it such as this, is discrimination in its lowest and coarsest form. Of course there’s also physical abuse and this is a subject that has horrendous ramifications and while it doesn’t only apply to plus-sizers, it is nevertheless a scandal that society needs to confront and resolve. Not so easy? I agree.

But let’s get back to emotional abuse based on size. It’s very insidious and there are times when you may not even be aware that it is happening. Until you think about it afterwards. Then it becomes crystal clear. The subtle or not so subtle looks, smirks, the eyes of the other person taking in your size and then either looking away or even in the worst scenario actually saying something derogatory about you. The jokes, those jokes that make you cringe, but you laugh at yourself anyway, because you’re so embarrassed by their lack of sensitivity and of course you want to be seen to have an open mind and able to laugh at yourself. Laugh at yourself? Of course there are times when this is OK, but there are countless times when it is not. We have the right to choose when we laugh at ourselves, just as everyone else has. We do not, and should not, have to accept other people's bad manners and distasteful jokes, without having the right to stand up for ourselves. Yet, consistently, if a plus-sizer responds in any way, suddenly the situation is turned against them and they're told "you can't take a joke!". Oh yes we can. But it's the sort of joke and whether that joke is aimed specifically at us, that we should not have to "take" or accept.

And I encourage plus-sizers to never believe anyone who says, when they see you react by blushing or obvious embarrassment or stammering or withdrawing into yourself, that they didn’t mean it.

Look, let’s be brutally honest with ourselves here, they meant it and they meant every word of it. It was in their thoughts and therefore they verbalised those thoughts.

So what do you do? One of either two things. Accept their behaviour - and they’ll keep doing it, be sure of that - or stand up for yourself. How do you stand up for yourself? By being honest with them (and to yourself). Tell them “what you’ve said has offended and hurt me. I’d like an apology.” Now I've found that sometimes they won't apologise and have no intention of ever apologising. This once again leaves you with two options. One, let them get away with it, or walk away from them. The course is open to you. OK so if you decide on walking away, it may well mean that you are lonelier that you deserve to be, but at least you'll have your pride intact. And why look at it as though you have to lose out - if you remove yourself from the situation whereby you are faced with such abuse and ultimate embarrassment, then you'll have the time and opportunity to step out of your comfort zone and to seek out new interests and new friends. And there are new friends out there waiting for you. Believe it. Friends who will accept you for who and what you are right now!

It can be done, and it may be difficult, but you’ll be the winner in the long run.

Adding Iodine to Bread

Recently I heard that the Australian government is pressing for bread manufacturers to add iodine to bread, as from a certain date - very soon.

My question. Particularly for those people who have been diagnosed with under-active thyroid and are on medication, is there a possibility of having too much iodine, especially if it is added to our everyday food and people consume it this way as well as their medication? What would the effects be in having too much? Who would actually decide on how much to be added?

Once again it boils down to the fact that maybe it's NOT the food we eat that makes us so unhealthy these days, but what is ADDED to the food we eat today. I firmly believe that with all these preservatives (who ever thought we'd see the day when food could be manipulated so that it doesn't change colour when it's old and going "off", nor does it smell when it has gone "off"?), and other additives, and being genetically modified, we're not becoming healthier. We're becoming sicker. Just look at the increase in childhood asthma; childhood diabetes; childhood obesity, especially in children who do not over-eat. These questions beg to be answered.

Of course iodine in dark green leafy vegetables has always been known but adding it to such a product as bread - I wonder what the amount/quantity of iodine would be legislated - how could a balanced amount be chosen?

While on the subject of the importance of iodine in a healthy diet (and even taking into account what I've said above I do believe that we need a more balanced healthy makeup of our food), did you realise that up until modern times when many of the Asian countries turned from their national and cultural cooking and food to fast-foods such as KFC and McDonalds, there was no word for "flushes" (or "flashes") as in menopause? I read where Japanese women didn't suffer from the complaint because they ate seaweed in their diets as a natural and normal routine.

Dieting and Feelings and Attitude!

How many of us have "dieted" ? Because we felt we had to; because we were told we had to; because our family and so-called friends and the media told us that unless we did we'd never fit in and be accepted? We'd never find a man who loved us for who we are; we'd never get a top-notch job; we'd never ........... You can guess the rest. In fact you've probably lived this experience.

So it may come as no surprise to learn that I had dieted for more than 50 years, until ......... I visited a young Asian doctor. I was miserable, quite ill, and depressed. He asked how he could help me. I said I was an obese, middle-aged lady and I wanted to get better. He said he couldn't change the age, but he could help me with my perceptions of obesity as well as helping me to feel better. He took my rather large hands in his tiny ones, and said I'll ask you three questions. Was your mother a big lady? Yes. Was your grandmother a big lady? Yes. Is your daughter a big lady? Yes. He then told me "with wrists and hands as heavily boned as you have (as well as other parts of your body), coupled with your height and the distribution of your weight, you'll never be slim. Even if you diet forever. And insisting on dieting to lose weight in an effort to become slim will only make you more unhealthy. What we can do is to work on what we've got. Your determination to become healthier." And he did.

You know, I walked out of that Doctor's surgery feeling young, attractive and slim! I use the word "feeling" because that's a very important word in our vocabulary. If we "feel" less fat then we have more confidence than if we feel "fat" ALL the time! And "feelings" are all tied up with attitude, aren't they?

Have I lost weight in the years since? Not really. He never ever pressured me to lose weight. He gave me the reassurance I needed, when I needed it most.

I felt I needed to share that with you. I sense that there are quite a few of you who think the guilt of being overweight is all yours and that you're completely to blame for not meeting the unrealistic expectations that society (including family and so-called friends) put upon us. It's not always that simple. Look at things from a different perspective and you may be surprised to find yourself seeing your own individuality as a unique creation first, who just happens to be fat.

And what does that mean? It means that you're probably fatter than a lot of people and you're probably thinner than a lot of people. That means we plus-sizers are actually the majority, rather than the minority. Gives us a bit more clout don't you think?

And all that dieting over the years resulted in nothing more than costing me a lot of money and costing me a lot in self-esteem. It also cost me a lot in health. So all the effort and all the going without and all the guilt wasn't worth it - not one iota!

Fallacies, Fibs and Falsehoods

Fibs

When it comes to dealing with fallacies, fibs and lies that lie in wait for the unsuspecting plus-size woman, this is a minefield of huge proportions.

The plus-size woman is fed a massive serving of fibs on a constant basis and usually from childhood. Fibs about food, about fashion, about her size, about fitness, about her ability to be successful in the workplace, and her ability to “snare a man”. As if that is all there is to life!

But let’s be honest here. These things are important to our self esteem, no matter what size we are. The larger person has the same dreams as the smaller person. Those dreams encompass every wish and hope imaginable. Once again it’s up to us, as individuals, to persuade people about us that we may be bigger than others, but conversely we are smaller than many. Which means in a nutshell, that we are the same as everyone else - flesh and blood, skin and bones, hair, teeth, nails, eyes, nose and mouth, arms and legs, not to mention our other statistics! Everyone is three dimensional. We also share the same senses as everyone else, including good healthy doses of humour .........

Fallacies and Falsehoods

For too many years bigger people have been told, and unfortunately they have believed, that being bigger than somebody else makes them unacceptable” because they’re an offense to the eye!” They’re told that because they’re “fat”, they can’t possibly expect to be healthy, to be happy, to enjoy companionship and yes, sex!, or to have happy and healthy children. They’ve come to expect that they can’t (and shouldn’t) expect to be successful in their careers, and they most certainly should not expect respect from other people. The inference is that they’ve “let the team down.” They’re an embarrassment to everyone else so surely they must be an embarrassment to themselves!

Over decades of this sort of “abuse” bigger people have fallen into the trap of “agreeing” with these inappropriate and outdated attitudes. As a result of trying to “fit in” with what has been expected of them, they believe they’re failures, so in order to balance the scales, they’ve put up with substandard and second-rate treatment and dealings dished out to them by insensitive and arrogant people.

Value for money and common sense!

A lot of plus size women tell me they don't like paying a good price for a good garment. I wonder why women aren't prepared to pay for value? What is it about plus-sizers particularly who can't always see merit in having something made (or buying something that is made) for their size? I know before you all tell me that a large proportion of plus-sizers are on pensions, welfare or have other financial disadvantages. I'm in the same category.

Yet we all need clothes - so why go to K Mart to buy something you don't like but probably fits and have to replace it within a short time, because of wearing, pilling, or stretching out of shape, when you can buy something from someone you trust that will wear well, will not fray or tear at the seams, pill or stretch, for a reasonable cost?

I repeat - most of us have budgetry constraints. But I also know a lot of my clothes which are still in very good condition and that I wear with aplomb are anything up to ten to fifteen years old. I chose good styles and designs and fabrics. Many of these were home-made by dressmaker friends.

I am reminded of a friend of mine in New Zealand who makes the most exquisite long nightgowns styled on a Victorian pattern - with pintucks, ribbons, laces on the bodice. Plenty of broderie anglaise and a beautiful garment. She is meticulous in her sewing, and presents the nightgown in a lovely nightgown cover (just as Victorian nightgowns were stored). My nightgown which I wear around the house (it's too beautiful to only wear in bed!) is now more than 3 years old, and looks as though I just bought it. Yes, it cost heaps I'll admit that - but I had saved for a long time to buy myself a really beautiful garment. When I wear it I feel a million dollars - luxury in any one's language. But my friend is frustrated that no one will buy the nightgown - most women say "it's too expensive".

I know you're not all able to even save up for such a garment but getting back to basics, even an apron (a coverall garment that is becoming increasingly popular now that women are suddenly re-discovering the wonders and adventures that are possible in a kitchen!) is an over-garment, and can be worn even as a tunic over tights and sleeveless tee shirt, especially if it has Victorian/Edwardian frills around the shoulders. I've seen aprons worn as cover-ups in the home and kitchen, and I've seen them worn as leisure garments and everyday down the mall shopping garments. I've even seen an gossamer apron worn as a chemise. It's all in the imagination.

Aging Outrageously!

Is there an option?

Just go into a store that sells affordable clothing for the older woman, and that includes the variety and department/chain stores, and you’ll be faced with rows of look-alike garments that may be your size, but which if you had a choice you’d probably walk past.

Basic colours, styles your Grandma probably would have refused to wear; even fabrics that don’t like you or your skin or your time of life. But do you have a choice?

If you are a “size” that is included in the shops that sell “younger” wear, then don’t kid yourself you would only look like mutton done up as lamb! This is just not true. We’re not suggesting that you go from wearing ankle length skirts or slacks/pants to wearing mini skirts. But let’s look at things clearly.

Clothing for the younger market is more available; usually it’s quite cheaper too! Yes, maybe it’s made for a “disposable” society, but hey, let’s face it, do you really want to be wearing the same garment for 30 years? You’ve proved throughout your life that you can adapt to change - circumstances, relationships you name it. So why do you think you can’t change your clothing habits?

Choice is out there. It’s just that we’ve become so self conscious of our age and even our size and shape, which no one can suggest hasn’t changed over the years as well, that we’re afraid to be adventurous any more. And this is silly. We’re independent women, right? We know what is best for us, right? We know or have a fair idea of how good we could look if we found the right clothes, right? We’ve also been treated with a little disdain by saleswomen, right? We’ve been told the store has nothing in our size, right? And we’ve become too scared to keep trying, right?

We can’t disguise all our body faults, that’s for sure. And we shouldn’t try to hide our bodies completely either. Why should we be made feel embarrassed about our body and the way it looks?

For a plus-size woman who is aging, she has two battles on her hands. One is she is treated as “ga-ga” because she is “old”, and the other inference is that she has let herself go to the extent of being obese. And that means she has a cheek expecting to be able to buy clothes that make her feel and look good, from her point of view.

It’s wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!

Experiment. Go into trendy boutiques and stores that sell for the younger market. Get an idea of what is available, and whether you could open your mind to wearing a certain garment. Add to that garment in your mind first, and then look for something to go with the first item. Accessorise. Look around for nice shoes, belts (if you have a waist), and jewellery. If you want to be a twinset and pearl lady, then be one. If you’d like to show a bit of cleavage (at 60-70 or more) then do so. If you want to wear red, be brave and do it.

It’s your life, after all, and you need only answer to yourself when it comes to how you dress. That is, of course, assuming that you see yourself for who and what you are, not someone to make fun of yourself so that others do likewise, but someone with a smart mind ready to follow through on what is best for you.

Shake and Soup Diet Plans

Here we go again. Warnings about dangerous diet programmes. Are we listening? Because unless we do, and unless we get off the merry-go-round (and it certainly isn't merry) of dieting to lose weight, then we'll be getting similar warnings in decades to come.

During this past week, the findings of Consumer Group Choice, has damned popular pharmacy shake and soup diet plans. They claim that these diet plans can be potential health risks and are plagued with poor advice.

Choice says that dieters in their desperation to lose weight are paying hundreds of dollars, and being advised by consultants who have "grossly inadequate" training about weight loss.

Health experts raised concerns about the calorific, carbohydrate and fibre levels of some plans, and warned some people risked wasting muscle instead of fat.

A well known pharmacy with stores in all States even sold their diet programmes to children. Choice said it was a disgrace. The pharmacy spokesperson justified their selling to children by saying their programme gave extensive psychological support to children. Was he being fair dinkum?

It doesn't say much for the integrity of these pharmacies or their staff, that the advice and support consumers are receiving about quick-fix diet programmes is manifestly inadequate.

My observation is this. (And I suspect many thousands of people have the same opinion). Diets don't work. Diets aren't a natural way of fueling the body. Diets make people ill. Diets cause people to have all sorts of side-issues to contend with (i.e. I diet and I still don't lose weight, I'm a no-hoper!).

And if diets do work, then why aren't we all slim and trim? Tell me that. Because if it were true, then there'd be no diet programmes and there'd be no companies making lots of money out of people who desire to get thin. In fact there'd be no "diet industry". Think about it. Seriously.

The Cost of Being Plus-Size - 3

In my previous blogs, I've been talking about the foolish claims made by people who "create" diets so that those of us who fall into the trap of believing their claims, will follow. And even though people everywhere will follow those diets religiously and stringently over time, their expectations are never quite realised. Why? Because yes, they may lose a little weight but as soon as they revert to eating what the body by that time is craving, then they will pile on the weight again. And always it is more weight than they first started off with. That sets in motion a roller-coaster ride, because most plus-sizers will try and try and try again; sometimes the same "diet", most times any other diet that makes outlandish claims and seems to have the answers to everyone's dreams. As one of these people over decades, I can speak with authority and experience - diets don't work.

So let's get on with what other way the media, and even our family and friends can offer "help". It's very insidious and it's very damaging and it's very discriminatory and it's very abusive.

I'm talking about being told that the only way to fix the problem is to have weight loss surgery. In fact here in Australia there's a move by the government to insist that "morbidly obese" people have one form or another of stomach banding and that these operations will be subsidised. What has the reaction been by those people who are not overweight or obese? Utter condemnation that people of size deserve any subsidisation! The anger continues.

But WLS is NOT the answer for everyone at all. It's all very well for the media (and I blame the women's magazines as much as I do the advertisers of companies who are out to make millions from this form of torture. And I do call it torture, because I've seen a number of women who have had the operation and who have been scarred both physically and emotionally to such an extent that they are only reflections of their former self. They're "confidence" is equated with how they look when they are dressed; NOT when they are eating a meal, or when they are living their lives. In fact these women have been so traumatised by the surgery that they verablise the words "I wish I hadn't done it".

Now, I know I'll get many people saying all this is just imagination. That they're had WLS and their lives have changed dramatically for the good, and they would tell everyone to had the surgery carried out. Well, I say to these people, congratulations. I'm glad it's worked for you. And I'd like you to tell me in 5 years, 10 years time that you still feel the same way.

But there is another high cost. These operations cost a lot, financially, and people go into great debt for them. So that's one aspect. The other aspect is that if the surgery does not work, and it doesn't always, how does the person feel? Shattered.

Many overweight people (who are now told they're "obese" or morbidly obese) have other health problems as well as being overweight. Those problems may even be hidden until the surgery and then come out fighting. Even if those health problems have been diagnosed and are being treated, they can get worse.

Most people who have WLS have to undergo ongoing surgery for the removal of loose skin. Now that doesn't sound so bad does it? But if you were shown photos of some of the loose skin that has to be removed after WLS surgery, during your consultations with the WLS surgeons BEFORE surgery, and have that aspect of the operation explained to you, then perhaps you'd try and go another route to becoming the slimmer person you want to be.

You've got to talk about these things with your doctor. You've got to have confidence in your doctor to be able to be assured that he is telling you everything you need to know. You need to ask questions and more questions, and to even write down the answers. Over and over again.

You see it's your body, and your emotional being, that is being treated in a WLS situation. You have to have as many facts as possible (even the negative ones) in order to make a valuable decision.

And don't believe all the hype you see on television and read in magazines that are "advertisements" and not necessarily recommendations from real people. There's a lot of make believe out there, and we get caught up in that make believe without even knowing.

So it absolutely astounded me when I heard on radio this morning that many hospitals here in Australia have been overwhelmed with the numbers of babies being registered for weight control advice. These babies haven't necessarily been "big" or heavy babies at birth , but within 12 months they're seen to be "obese". Tell me what is going on here.

Are these babies being breastfed? If so, why are they becoming overweight? If they are not being breastfed, I ask the same question. Because you can't tell me that a baby between birth and 12 months is eating nasty "fast-foods" filled with saturated fats and over zealous amounts of sugar, that are making them fat, all day and every day.

It's becoming more and more obvious to adults and now children who are labelled as being plus-size, that it is NOT the food they are eating, nor the quantity of food they are eating. Too many only eat normal and small sized meals with no snacks in between and no high-fat foods within their normal eating patterns. But I've been saying this for decades now. And I'll repeat it again and again until someone takes notice.

It is NOT so much the food we are eating,
but it is what is IN the food we are eating.

All natural ingredients are being processed, with additives and chemicals, that no-one has any idea what will be the result of ingestion over periods of time. Just take a quick look at the labels on food. I bet, like me, you can't understand what you're reading. So when are the authorities going to get manufacturers and suppliers to really tell the truth? And why are many foods grown or manufactured in one country, imported to ours, and then packed here, and labelled "made from imported and local ingredients". What does this tell us? Absolutely nothing.

Let the experts (dietitians/nutritionists/scientists) do some research. Let them do some serious analysing of the food that we all eat every day, and this includes the staple foods; bread, eggs, flour, meat, vegetables, fruit, lentils, rice. Then let's do some serious talking about what is going on with food in our bodies. This is a conspiracy.

Craving for Food - or listening to what our bodies tell us

A recent U.S. government study found that the number of obese American adults now outweighs the number of those who are merely overweight. While many factors contribute to excessive weight gain — from diet and cultural changes to decreased physical activity — there's still a prevalent attitude that obesity is the fat person's fault.

The researchers Andrew Calder, Luca Passamonti and James Rowe were trying to determine why some people are more likely to overeat. What they found was, “people who appear to be more sensitive to food signals have different wiring in their brains,” said obesity expert Marc-Andre Cornier, M.D., a University of Colorado endocrinologist who was not associated with the trial.

Wow! This is interesting! Some people have different wiring in their brains!

In the study a large group of people were brought together. Those with a high food sensitivity rating didn't report being any hungrier than those with a normal rating. However after being shown images of food from unappetising through to highly calorific, the higher the food sensitivity rating, the hungrier the test subjects became. So, researchers concluded that the images triggered feelings of hunger in susceptible people.

Such differences in wiring help explain why some people eat even if they aren’t hungry. An external cue, like the sight of tempting food, triggers a desire for a reward. “We don't think it’s overstating matters to say that chronic overeating could … be considered an ‘addiction’ for food,” said Calder.


Editors Note: There are many more factors in the increase of “obesity” than just merely over-eating. Everyone and this includes even the more knowledgable and intelligent (?) experts in the fields of food, nutrition and body metabolism, still seem to be of the opinion that being fat is the person’s fault and they should cut down on food.

This is archaic in today’s world. With so much research being undertaken, and so many papers being discussed and published in highly reputable medical journals and on the internet, each and every finding comes back to the point that if people overeat then they’ll get fat. This is far too simple.

I may be naive but I have seen with my own eyes what happens when some plump and cuddly people are hospitalised and put onto intensive drips to counter (remove) fluid retention over a very short period of time. I have seen them shrink from those pleasing curves and become smaller and wrinkled versions of themselves within weeks. The fact that a number of those people were also suffering from other diseases such as cancer, heart conditions and diabetes didn’t seem to worry the doctors who were more concerned at getting them “thin” than caring for their bodies. No sooner had these people returned home and even with a strictly "regimented diet" which was monitored severely, they began to pile weight back on. Why? Because they were drinking too much water! Most of these people were told to cue down their water and fluid intake. What happened? You’ve guessed it, they became much sicker. And throughout all this, they believed their doctors. They believed their doctors knew what was best.

And I speak from personal family experience here. In my case it was my mother who went through this "treatment" to rid herself of weight! But the fact of the matter is that she (and many many plus-sizers) do NOT eat a lot of food; they DON'T eat fatty or sugar loaded food. Their meal sizes are smaller than the norm. So many of them eat sparingly and do not snack in between meals.

BUT, in my family my mother was seen to be "overweight" or "obese"; her mother was a big and tall woman. Her grandmother had been a big woman. Her daughter is a big woman. Her granddaughter is a big woman. And her great granddaughters are tall, solid, beautifully shaped and feminine.

Genes aren’t the problem, the experts scream at us. It’s your willpower, or as I often say, it may be our “won’t-power” at times. But the body does crave things occasionally. And I mean occasionally. When that “occasional craving” starts to have the effect of wanting to be satisfied daily and constantly, then there is a problem. But with intelligent perseverance this can be overcome. We don’t have to be subjected to “behaviour manipulation”, we can do it on our own (sometimes with a little help from our friends), but don’t treat us like imbeciles. We’re not stupid. Our bodies know what they need and if we refuse them, then they will turn against us.

And this is what happens when we diet, and diet, and diet. The body says, “you’re doing crazy things to me, now let’s see what I can do to you”. And it reacts. Badly. It tells us we’ve done badly by it, and it increases in size and heaviness each and every time after a diet, which of course hasn’t worked. Our bodies have been made to go without, and they are in battle with our minds.

Diets don’t work. Don’t be misled into thinking otherwise. Diet’s won’t work, because our bodies, and our minds, are not made for going without to such an extent. They’re made to work on the right fuel, at the right time, in the right quantities.

The Cost of Being Plus-Size 2

There's no doubt that being healthy and curvy brings with it a great deal of discrimination. Whether you happen to suffer from discrimination personally is another matter. Many plus-size women are full of confidence, and very aware of themselves. Others simply don't want to think about it, it's hard enough trying to get through each day with all the other problems of life, without dwelling on the fact that people go out of their way to make the plus-size feel inadequate and not being in control.

Then there's the third or middle category. Into which many of us fall, at some stage of another. That of being VERY aware of the hostility and abuse centred on our size, and knowing that there is very little we can do about it.

The pressure put upon the plus-size to "diet" and so lose weight; and to exercise not only regularly but intensely, is too much for many people to bear. Insinuations and innuendoes about their weight, and how they live their lives, can cause many people to lose all sense of self and worth.

The inference in newspapers (articles almost every day on the subject of "obesity"); and all other media forums; together with the fashion industry; the entertainment and hospitality as well as the health and fitness industries, that "fat" people aren't worth worrying about, especially if they don't do as they are told to by these organisations, is abusive at the very least.

For people who have always been larger than their peers (and I'm not talking about obese people here, I'm talking about people who are merely bigger, slightly heavier even, taller and wider but healthy), they often find as they age, that they are hindered by various chronic conditions that immobilise their bodies to a greater extent than when they were younger. Things like arthritis. Now when a slender person has arthritis, they usually get sympathy or understanding from people around them. But ........ When a person who has always been on the larger side finds arthritis becomes a real problem, then they are told well, you're overweight, what do you expect?

What they should expect is the same understanding and sympathy as the smaller person. They've got enough to worry about without being subjected to all sorts of ridicule and indifference.

And what about women's magazines? I would be most surprised if you could show me a women's magazine on any newsagents shelf that focusses on the positive side of being plus-size. My argument is this, and has been for decades now. If women's magazines are for ALL women, then ALL women should be included within that magazine as a matter of course. Advertisement and fashion supplements; makeup and beauty therapy pages; positive self-esteem initiatives are all aimed at the younger, slimmer woman. Why are the older women ignored, and why are the plus-size ignored to such an extent that perhaps a special two page supplement every year will have an emphasis on "how to dress for the large body". Why should we be invisible until such time as the editors of these publications decide to do something nice for the fat people. How hypocritical. How arrogant.

And when we write to these magazines, voicing our opinions and feelings about being treated in this way, we're more or less pushed to one side and told to "get a life". We'd love to be able to get on with our lives and enjoy our lives, if only these magazines were be a positive voice rather than a negative one that reinforces the bad publicity that makes the rounds every day about weight and being unhealthy.

Being unhealthy is not the point. Too many plus size people are healthy. They eat sensibly and wisely; they carry out exercise regimes; they look after their body. But they're looked upon as being out of control. Nonsense. Here in Australia I doubt whether there is ANY health and fitness course that allows all members of a particular class to be plus-size. Because if they did, more women would attend, and less women would feel intimidated.

The irony of being plus-size is also that society (with a little push and shove by the fashion industry as well as advertisers and the media industry per se) now has the audacity of labelling garments at rapidly decreasing size numbers. What used to be a size 16-18 is now a 10-12 and so on.

What used to be the "typical" or average range of sizes of Australian woman, i.e. 14, 16, 18, 20, is now seen to be: 0, 2, 4, 6, 8. So this means that a plus-size woman will venture into a clothing boutique and look for her sizes only to find none, because that boutique only caters for the current Australian range of sizes. Which is bad enough, but when one considers that the female form or figure has changed dramatically over the past few decades as well as becoming heavier and taller, then you can begin to see some of the inconsistencies involved in sizings.

Today's woman has larger breasts than her mother. Even young women of size 10 or 12, have larger and deeper breasts than their mothers and/or grandmothers. Their hips are larger too. The strange thing about this is that they most probably are the same weight as their mothers, which causes the whole weight/measurement/size/shape concept of what a woman should look like, to go completely out of sync.

So what does this do to the young woman who is generously curvy? It makes her think that it's all her fault. That she has to diet and lose weight so that she can fit into a garment that has been down-sized. Whether she will remain healthy is another matter altogether, because she'll starve and diet and do everything she's told to, and still she won't realise that it is not her problem, but the attitude of other people within industries that could do a lot to help the plus-size adjust to life. With far less problems and far less stress, and far less ridicule.

Those of us who are a little older know that diets don't work. We know that diets can make us fatter than we ever were. We know that diets can cause us to be ill. We know that diets are a big "con".

So that means that our magazines actually sell lies. That's a harsh statement, but when you think about it, you will have to agree surely.