How do we see ourselves?

Look at yourself!

We do. Many times a day when passing a mirror or the reflections in shop windows. So often though we shy away from actually "looking" at ourselves because we fear being reminded that we are not exactly perfect or meet society's perception of what is ideal.

But if we are serious about changing attitudes, and perceptions, we have to make ourselves vulnerable to our own inspections. We have to expose our real personality and character from behind all those layers of protection we wear. Many of these layers are quite invisible and forgotten but have to be shed just as though they were fabric.

Next time you shower or bathe, take time out and actually look at yourself in the mirror. The whole you. Don't just look at the double chin, the drooping boobs, the fat sloppy tummy, the thick thighs, the bulging knees, and the thick ankles. Ankles? you ask - do I have any? Yes, they're there just as you have a waistline, and just as you have a decollete.

Take note of what you see. Thrust away any ideas of comparisons. In other words when you do look at yourself, don't see a fat and ungainly edition of Angelina Jolie or Nicole Kidman. See and appreciate the special limited edition of you! There is no other. You cannot be copied, or cloned. You are you, and you are unique. Even if you are a large, economy size!

And don't make excuses and don't feel guilty. Your body has a certain shape and size for very good reasons. Only one of those reasons MAY be because of the wrong diet or lack of moderation. We have to throw out these archaic ideas that just because we are taller, heavier, wider and broader than the so-called "ideal" women (who are after all in the main genetic freaks - not my words but womens clothing manufacturers. commentators and even some fashion writers), then it is because we over-eat. That's what we've been told for far too long, and unfortunately that's what we come to believe.

Stuff and nonsense! Let's get things into perspective. There are very good reasons why we sometimes eat food that is supposed to be bad for us. There are very good reasons why sometimes we eat too large meal or snack. But those reasons are not because we are undisciplined, it is because our body and yes our mind, tell us that this is the way we can handle situations, or people, and it gives us comfort combined with the incentive to move on from those particular situations and people. Psychologists give us all sorts of technical and chemical reasons, but we know what happens when we feel down, stressed, out of sorts, when we feel sad, and/or feel unloved or unappreciated. "Professional" people treat the chemical person, we live as a physical and spiritual person.

There's a lot of discussion recently about whether a fat person does in fact eat too much! This subject crops up every decade or so, and nothing ever changes in the attitudes of society or people who could make a difference in the public's perception and acceptance of the plus size (such as journalists, editors of women's magazines, as well as the fashion industry itself). And why don't things change? Because it's too darned easy to blame someone for their inappropriate attitude - they'd have to change policies within their industries and that wouldn't do. It wouldn't do at all! Because as a consequence they'd have to admit they were wrong.

Learn to like what you see. Let the female form be seen for what it is - it was created for procreation, and it was created for pleasure. Not lustful pleasure but personal pride. Something which is uniquely yours, and which you can enhance in so many wondrous ways - particularly if your imagination allows you the freedom to do so.

Taking control!

Focussing on "positive" and "feel-good" feelings means having to direct one's thoughts constantly from the negative. Because the negative comes upon us when least expected and can make for a very bad day.

Let's aspire to setting our own goals and dreams; choosing the path we want to follow. We don't have to follow the crowd; we don't have to be the same as everyone else; we don't have to look like everyone else and we can have fun in pursuing whatever it is we want to pursue (whether a career, a hob by, or even a man if that's the way you want to go!).

We have the choice to do things at our own pace and in our own space.

We don't have to make excuses; we don't have to accept feelings of guilt (gee, you have put on weight, haven't you?); we don't have to accept discrimination or indifference or ignorance or arrogance.

Being fat could be helpful for heart patients?

This news item caught our attention.

In a review in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology, it was suggested that being fat can be useful for heart patients.

Overweight heart attack victims should stay fat as they are more likely to live longer, say the researchers. The controversial claim goes against conventional advice to patients that they should lose weight.

"Obese patients with heart disease respond well to treatment and have paradoxically better outcomes and survival than thinner patients," said author Dr Carl Lavie, medical director of Cardiac Rehabilitation and Prevention at the Ochsner medical Centre.

Dr Lavie said it was possible extra weight might help because patients had more reserves to fight disease.

.....© Melbourne Sun-Herald, 20th May 2009

Plus-Size!

You and I have been told, and been made to believe, that we are what is commonly and rudely termed - “plus size”. What that means exactly no one has been able to satisfactorily explain to me in a rational and intelligent way - if you know, then please enlighten me.

Being “plus size” has meant, for me, that I have had to combat bad manners and inappropriate attitudes from other people, since my childhood. It remains so today. For to too many people "plus-size" means being out of control and fat. Look around you, you'll see plenty of plus-size women who are NOT fat. They are perfectly proportioned regardless of their size.

I’m told that discrimination is no longer legal or acceptable. however no one has told the legislators that discrimination based on size has not even been confronted let alone dispensed with. It may not be legal but it certainly is allowed.

And by whom? You name it. Manufacturers, designers and retailers of clothing. The media - and this includes newspapers, magazines, and publishers of books - how many novels have you read lately with a buxom plus size female as it’s heroine? Editors and features writers, television current affairs anchor people as well as journalists, television drams and sit-coms take delight in making fun or being objectionable to people who do not have the "ideal" figure or looks. If the "worm turned", and suddenly thin or skeletal was considered to be "unacceptable" you'd be deafened by the screams of those thinner women. Yet, we're expected to accept their inappropriate and bad behaviour without a murmur.

Then we come to health professionals. Many GPs are fast coming to the notion that patients are people, thank goodness, and that fat people are just as worthy of respect as smaller people with the same needs and wants. It hasn’t always been so. But when it comes to health sports clubs or fitness centres, then the only way they will look at you is if you are a potential client eager to lose weight. Try and tell them that all you want to do is get fit, not necessarily lose weight, and they’ll give you a horrified look. They really don’t want to know you. Yet you'd think they'd be eager for you to join their clubs in order to prove that being healthy and fit is desirous. But no, they "see" the size and looks of the plus-sizer, and make their own assumptions. The sooner health clubs have classes at which plus-sizers are not only welcomed but sought, the sooner we'll find opportunities to enjoy better fitness without having to go through embarrassing moments in the presence of smaller and more petite women.

As plus-sizers, we deserve the right to enjoy life and that includes fitness, without being harrassed into undergoing weight loss within that goal.

Dressing to suit your Figure!

Wrap dresses are terrific for women with round tummies. The draping is attractive and the wrap dress allows you to define your waistline - even if you thought you didn't have one!

While colours give a lot of variation, black or solid colours will always be stand-outs.

Has anyone seen any Wrap dresses for the plus-size here in Australia - I've been looking around for a while now and I can't find any - so far.

While talking about flattering styles, I thoroughly recommend the Marilyn Convertible dress from Monif C (USA). This garment allows you to change the styling in countless ways, and Monif even has a number of videos on YouTube showing various ways of wearing this particular dress.

Visit Monif C on www.monifc.com

The BOLD Shoulder is back!

Do you recall your mother saying, "what goes around comes around?" She wasn't necessarily talking about the washing machine. Most likely it was in relation to fashion.

Yes, fashion. That "thing" that the media and the fashion industry tell us we must obey and wear what they say, when they say, where they say and how they say. And like good little girls, we take notice and as often as not take their demands as "advice" and follow the rules they set down.

Well the latest news is going to please some of us, and dismay others. Because whether you want to believe it or not, the shoulder pad is back! With a vengeance. It's bigger than even back in the 80s- who can remember "Dynasty" and sultry Joan Collins with her wardrobe of magnificent obsessional clothes?

In my humble opinion excessive shoulder pads can make a slim woman look totally top heavy. Because with shoulders that are wider than her hips and thighs combined, she's more like to topple over than to carry herself with grace and ease. (With we plus sizers can do, with style and panache.)

Am I being critical? I guess so. But as a plus size woman, with plenty of amplitude, spread proportionately (and in some places a little disproportionately) over and around my body, I've always loved shoulder pads.

I find that shoulder pads (not the tiny little things that look like a cotton wool face freshener, but a decent sized, padded pad) lift the garment nicely so that my bosoms and cleavage are displayed with more curvature than just plonked on. I'm talking about the garment being plonked on, not the cleavage!

Seriously though, if you tend to read the women's magazines and features pages as well as the odd page of "Style" in your local weekend newspaper, look at which is shown on the catwalk, and then get out some photos of your Mum (or even yourself if you liked the shoulder pads back in the 80s) and get ahold of some magazines or even books from the library depicting fashion where shoulder pads were worn, and see for yourself the many benefits and advantages and enhancements that are available with the humble shoulder pad. Don't necessarily go overboard, but have fun!