Beyond the Curve!

I can recall as a youngster, that Grandmothers used to pat us on the head and say to one another, "Isn't she a bonny wee one". Aunts would chuck us under the chin and smile and say, "A lovely, chubby, cuddly one."

Was my family so different to others? Or was I fortunate in knowing that to all the important women in my family, I was seen as "one of them", albeit in miniature. To the other one person in the family, my Dad, to whom I passionately wanted to be seen as "precious", alas this was not to be as he could never tolerate anyone who was "fat".

But then I started to grow up and went to school. Lots of the other children used to poke fun at me, laugh about my lack of co-ordination in many things (particularly running and PE, which meant doing exercises - ooooh, the memories of those sports bloomers!), and tease me mercilessly about buttons that popped open as my breasts formed; knees that were fatter than theirs, and tummy and hips that wobbled and just sat there like a mound of jelly.

I started to feel bad about myself. I told myself I'd never be any good at school, I'd never get a good job, I'd never find a boyfriend, I'd never get married, I'd never have children, and I'd grow old all by myself because no one would want me.

Many years passed and all of them were filled with guilt especially if I ate something that I really liked. People would look at me sideways and tell me that I shouldn't. I started at about ten years of age to seriously diet. That didn't do any good either, because I felt constantly hungry and worthless. All the time I put on more weight and grew fatter. The fact that I was growing taller as well didn't seem to occur to anyone! Coupled with that the fact that my Mum, Grandmas and Aunts were all fat too, didn't seem to connect with my lack of self-esteem.

It took me far too long to come to terms with the realisation that I was bigger than many others, but also I was much smaller than a lot of people, at the same age.

But it saddens me to see little girls of 5 years up, now thinking and talking about being "too fat" and that they should diet. I'm with those other women who are asking, hoping that someone will give us a rational answer, as to just where these little girls are getting this notion from?

Magazines and TV are two areas that I believe (with many others) should be made more responsible for their attitudes. They simply will not accept the fact that what they say and what they show, has an impact on the fertile minds of our young people. "No" they say, "readers or viewers can make up their own minds. We're not doing anything wrong." Excuse me!

Children are not getting this message from books they read or lessons they have at school. They certainly should not be getting the message from their Mums (though sadly this is often the case when Mum herself is in the body-self-loathing syndrome). We've got to stop this nonsense. Otherwise our children will suffer - not only physically but also emotionally.

Look at the film "Shrek". A fatter than ideal heroine, and a large, fat and to some, ungainly hero. But they accept each other as they are - not as they wish each other to be. They not only accept each other, but they love each other.

Isn't there a lesson here for all of us?

© 2010, Morgana