SERENDIPITY - PART II

Tracey E continues her "Serendipity":

"Because my body was always inclined to be fully shaped, and then overly shaped as I entered puberty, I became more withdrawn and shy. I was fearful of going to places where there were people and I was terrified of spending my life unloved.

The thought of marriage and children were high in my hopes. I had left school in my early teens, and with a determination that surprised me, I set out on a learning expedition. My inclusion with girlfriends in outings and going to the films or dances was near enough to zero. I was the odd one out - overlooked by some of the family and certainly never shown any spontaneous affection from aunts and uncles. The pretty little blond cousins were adored, but the big, brown eyed girl was not. I never gave a thought to the possibility that there may have been other reasons over which I had no control whatsoever - it always seemed to me that it as because I was stupid and/or fat.

My low self-esteem, I have now discovered to my absolute delight, was based on nothing more than negative thoughts implanted in my fertile brain at a tender young age, by people around me, including some of my family.

As I grew older I started to look at how this same attitude had effected and impacted on other women within my family, forcing them to hide behind a veil of shyness and timidity, afraid to stand up for what they thought was right, and buckling under the hard rule of the supposed "adults".

This timidity however, once released, as these women became aware of how discriminatory the attitudes of many of the family were, showed the world what a tower of strength and resilience they had become. And in tearing through the veil, they showed me quite literally and clearly, how to do likewise!"

SERENDIPITY - Part I

Tracey E writes:

"There's no doubt that women everywhere suffer from varying degrees of low self-esteem. It doesn't matter if you are an African tribeswoman or a member of the European upper-crust; if you're an up and coming Olympian swimmer or just the kid around the corner, low self-esteem will hit you at sometimes. And for the Australian woman it is no different. She may be financially independent, she may be holding down a satisfying and well rewarding job, she may be young, she may be older, she may even be thin or fat. Low self-esteem will impact upon her life, and influence how she feels about herself and how she sees herself in the big picture. As a woman well endowed with size and shape, I had for many years foolishly thought my low self-esteem was because I was: (a) stupid and (b) I was fat. I questioned myself for years, and I still came to the conclusion that I must be stupid because I hadn't any friends. As an adult and based on a more adult perspective of life, this belief lived with me and was reinforced in my self feelings. "I must be stupid because I had a bad marriage, and I must be stupid because I'm not happy." I tended to be a "loner" mainly because people overlooked me or treated me as a bit of a puzzle or even a joke."

.....© 2010 Tracey E, Australia

To be continued ....

What was it that Pavarotti said?

"The reason fat people are happy is because their nerves are protected!"