Tracey E continues her "Serendipity":
"Because my body was always inclined to be fully shaped, and then overly shaped as I entered puberty, I became more withdrawn and shy. I was fearful of going to places where there were people and I was terrified of spending my life unloved.
The thought of marriage and children were high in my hopes. I had left school in my early teens, and with a determination that surprised me, I set out on a learning expedition. My inclusion with girlfriends in outings and going to the films or dances was near enough to zero. I was the odd one out - overlooked by some of the family and certainly never shown any spontaneous affection from aunts and uncles. The pretty little blond cousins were adored, but the big, brown eyed girl was not. I never gave a thought to the possibility that there may have been other reasons over which I had no control whatsoever - it always seemed to me that it as because I was stupid and/or fat.
My low self-esteem, I have now discovered to my absolute delight, was based on nothing more than negative thoughts implanted in my fertile brain at a tender young age, by people around me, including some of my family.
As I grew older I started to look at how this same attitude had effected and impacted on other women within my family, forcing them to hide behind a veil of shyness and timidity, afraid to stand up for what they thought was right, and buckling under the hard rule of the supposed "adults".
This timidity however, once released, as these women became aware of how discriminatory the attitudes of many of the family were, showed the world what a tower of strength and resilience they had become. And in tearing through the veil, they showed me quite literally and clearly, how to do likewise!"
It comes as no surprise to plus-size women to realise that they are being "manipulated". Whether it is through the media, or the clothing that is for sale through the shops, or people who are supposed to be concerned with our health and our looks, or the marketing/advertising agencies. The thrust of this manipulation is simple - plus size people are out of control; you're a plus size person and therefore you must be punished.
This is crazy and is unwarranted and is discriminatory and it's downright wrong.
There's talk that plus-size people will be taxed a special "fat" tax on foods; on train/bus/tram travel; on travel bookings; on ambulance annual subscription premiums, insurance premiums, workplace insurances and more. There's already a tendency for many hospitals to refuse plus-size people (patients) who are above a certain BMI - has anyone taken the opportunity of figuring out exactly what this is all about - because everyone is different - height, width, bone structure; genetically and more. And is the BMI measurement system being updated as we grow taller and bigger - a known factor in today's populations? Will it get to the stage that if you have blue eyes, a Dr won't attend you? And what about plus-size doctors and nurses - hey, don't tell me they've all gone on the latest Jenny Craig diet and lost all their excess weight or had WLS and been a "success"! 'Cos there are still plenty of plus-size people in the health industry around - even if my little neck of the woods!
Children are in the firing line as well, being threatened with a "food police" management arrangement to ensure that they eat the "correct" foods (who makes the decision as to what is correct, I ask?); and parents are being threatened that they'll be charged with "abuse" if they don't toe the line about what they serve and feed their children. Where are parent's rights? Where are an individual's rights? Has anyone any rights any more?
A very insidious thing is occurring on our television screens again - plus-size people are being treated as idiots with almost a suggestion that they don't deserve to have their own space on this planet!
There's a lot of talk about the animal kingdom and the terrible loss of many species from the world as we know it. Every animal deserves its place and space. And we all deserve our space and place too. Because if the so-called experts have their way, the curvaceous, healthy, beautiful-bodied, fully rounded person could become an endangered species if we don't watch out.
Louise B was told about Francesca, an Italian lady, living in the Hills area. Francesca holds special, simple and basic Italian cooking classes, for both men and women.
Louise imagined Francesca's lifestyle, basing it on what she heard about Francesca's home, the car she drove, and other "gossip" that made its way around the local community. Taking into account the number of classes she took in a year. Louise's mind concentrated on the financial benefits and the fact that Francesca must be "well off".
She enrolled for a class herself. Upon meeting Francesca she was amazed at the beauty that radiated from this lady, a woman in her 50s with grey hair and many stories to tell from her lovely face. Francesca is also a big woman, well aware of her size, and completely aware of her own "self". Being paralysed from the waist down and in wheelchair, navigating around her kitchen as though it were a simple matter, Francesca is a fully rounded and self-accepting woman. Louise's opinion of Francesca changed from being envious of her and her "money", into admiration for a woman who rose above any pain and discomfort, and made life enjoyable and pleasant for other people.
Louise gained insights into "first impressions" following that class. I think we all need to step back at times and analyse just what our thoughts and assumptions may be, and whether they are fair and balanced.
It seems that governments are intent on dismissing the importance of human beings who are deemed to be "larger" than the accepted norm. Now what the norm is, or should be, is very debatable and no one seems inclined to actually face up to the problem and the discrimination that abounds within society as a whole.
Denying people the right to be healthy at whatever size they may be, by pressuring them to become thinner at whatever cost (whether financial, emotional or physical) is downright wrong. The larger person is becoming larger for many reasons, and certainly not all of those reasons relate to eating too much or even to not exercising enough. The controversy continues as to what is in the food that we are eating or being provided with, and until such time as someone with any nous does some serious research, then we'll be none the wiser.
But that doesn't get away from the fact that "serious" papers and scientific research are being published that really stretch the concept of common sense. The latest research deals with the alleged assumption that "fat" people are less intelligent than thin people. Some countries are extending this hatred towards "bigger" people to extremes.
The suggestion is that fat people will be charged more for: train/tram/bus fares (they already are made to abide by airline rules that two seats have to be purchased and paid for before a larger person can travel). We already have health agencies and hospitals refusing to treat or even admit people who are over a designed BMI (even though in many cases those BMIs were acceptable as recently as three months ago). Larger pregnant women are being refused admittance into local or nearby hospitals for the birth of their babies. There's more suggestions - fat people should pay more for food (in other words does this suggestion imply that "food police" will be on the staff of all supermarkets and will go through your trolley before you enter the cashier area, and they'll mark the items that have to have a special tax on them?). Larger people already pay a lot extra for clothes and shoes.
Then there are the restrictions being put upon children. A small 3 year old (confirmed by the Baby Welfare Sister as being well within the weight limits set, and certainly not fat) was recently ostracised at a childcare agency. The mother was asked to put the child on a diet, otherwise she would not be accepted at the centre. The mother took the case to the media, and with substantiated documentation from doctors, the welfare department and the health department in her hands, the mother took the child from the centre, and enrolled her in another in the same suburb. The publicity the initial centre received was certainly not good. But think about how the little 3 year felt - already being subjected to discrimination and unjustified hostility because of her chubbiness. In fact as a result of the media publicity the little one was chosen to become the "face" of children's wear for a leading Australian department store and appears in all their publicity modelling the babies/toddlers clothes.
School tuck shops have been warned that they must only sell food that the government decrees. "School police" (obviously teachers who will be chosen by the school principal) will check all the children's lunch boxes to see they don't have food that is not "on the list of acceptable food". Surely this is going too far?
Not only do we (collectively, in our group) have a file of upsetting experiences to describe what we've been through after having to go for medical tests and such thing, but we know of lots of women who have received even more appalling treatment than us.
While many of these women are of 'normal' weight and 'average' weight (whatever normal or average really means!), it is when speaking with women of size, that we discover time and time again episodes of petty discriminative attitudes in insensitive and arrogant people (mainly women it seems!). It is expected we should accept intolerable behaviour without question, merely because we're plus-size.
A woman (or anyone for that matter) being sent for tests of innumerable varieties - x-rays, mammograms, pap smears, colonoscopies, "pushes and prods" here there and everywhere, externally as well as internally, obviously is stressed to some degree before even entering the Dr's or pathology rooms. It come face to face with hostility, impatience, exasperation and downright rudeness is another "reminder" that our size is a problem! To them. Because they haven't come to terms with their own arrogance.
Anne Marie J of Ashfield, NSW, phoned into our office yesterday. We put her on open speaker (at her request). She had just arrived home shortly before calling us, embarrassed, humiliated, dejected, angry, unhappy and in tears of despair. She had attended a Specialist's rooms to be weighed and "talked at" (talked down to more like it), about her weight and possible problems associated with it, and more or less told "there's nothing we can do for you, unless you lose weight. It's your own responsibility." What that meant is anybody's guess, but it sounds a little like a threat of some sort.
She was then told to give an urine sample. No problem. But ...... She was handed a coffee mug. When Anne-Marie told us this, we couldn't help raising our eyebrows and had to stop from giggling - was she having us on? Definitely not! She'd asked the Nurse/Receptionist (of whatever title she goes under) why she wasn't given a small sterile container in a brown paper bag (like most rooms). No answer - merely "give sample and return to the desk". A coffee mug!!!!
Are these people for real or have we been blasted into a cyber "hole" where common sense no longer plays any part? Not to mention good manners.
You think that was bad enough? There was more to come. "While you're here, you can have some blood tests". "Yes, of course". Enter the "Path Nurse". Small bustling, busy, energetic, in-a-hurry. "Come on, come on". Anne-Marie tried to explain for blood tests it's best from inside elbow, left arm. "I''m not interested in what other people have told you," is the response. Jag, dig, jag, dig. What happened? The needle broke, that's what happened. Yes, it must have taken some force to do that.
She removed the broken needle - no apologies, then tried the other arm. No luck. "Look", said Anne-Marie, "I'll go to my usual place they never have any trouble". "I think you'd better because I can't waste any more time with you". Anne-Marie returned to her usual Path Lab Rooms, had the blood taken with no problems, and she went home.
This is where she fell in a heap. It wasn't only the coffee mug, it wasn't only the broken needle, it was the attitude of people. People who should be efficient and proficient at what they do; people who should have "people skills"; people who should have communication skills and who should have good manners.
Anne-Marie's husband arrived home a little later. Saw the condition of Anne-Marie's arm (from the broken needle), became incensed when he heard about the coffee mug and he immediately telephoned the Specialist's Rooms and complained. Received all sorts of blustery explanations but no apology. He has since taken this matter up with the Administrator of the Pathology Clinic Rooms.
What does this say to us? It says quite plainly that things are not as they should be. Discriminatory attitudes still play a big part in today's world. And it's about time that perpetrators understood the ramifications.
Because. In the national press as far back as September 2000, a small article appeared which stated: "A treaty to protect women from discrimination will become international law despite Australia's decision not to sign. as part of its protest at the United Nations' Committee system. Numerous countries ratified the protocol to the convention on the ELIMINATION OF ALL FORMS OF DISCRIMINATION AGAINST WOMEN, meaning it will pass into law. A new committee will hear the women's complaints." And this was back in 2000!!!! Has Australia seen fit to sign the treaty since that time? We wonder?
Surely, everyday forms of discrimination should come under the scrutiny of us all. And we have the power and the responsibility to make sure that blatant disregard for these laws are made known, not only to the organisations/people who display that disregard, but even people within the government. The old saying that the pen is mightier than the sword is still relevant today! It's up to us to remind those who treat individuals unfairly and with inappropriate behaviour and attitudes that they are breaking the law! And that we DO have rights!
Tracey E continues her "Serendipity":
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