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Being Manipulated!

It comes as no surprise to plus-size women to realise that they are being "manipulated". Whether it is through the media, or the clothing that is for sale through the shops, or people who are supposed to be concerned with our health and our looks, or the marketing/advertising agencies. The thrust of this manipulation is simple - plus size people are out of control; you're a plus size person and therefore you must be punished.

This is crazy and is unwarranted and is discriminatory and it's downright wrong.

There's talk that plus-size people will be taxed a special "fat" tax on foods; on train/bus/tram travel; on travel bookings; on ambulance annual subscription premiums, insurance premiums, workplace insurances and more. There's already a tendency for many hospitals to refuse plus-size people (patients) who are above a certain BMI - has anyone taken the opportunity of figuring out exactly what this is all about - because everyone is different - height, width, bone structure; genetically and more. And is the BMI measurement system being updated as we grow taller and bigger - a known factor in today's populations? Will it get to the stage that if you have blue eyes, a Dr won't attend you? And what about plus-size doctors and nurses - hey, don't tell me they've all gone on the latest Jenny Craig diet and lost all their excess weight or had WLS and been a "success"! 'Cos there are still plenty of plus-size people in the health industry around - even if my little neck of the woods!

Children are in the firing line as well, being threatened with a "food police" management arrangement to ensure that they eat the "correct" foods (who makes the decision as to what is correct, I ask?); and parents are being threatened that they'll be charged with "abuse" if they don't toe the line about what they serve and feed their children. Where are parent's rights? Where are an individual's rights? Has anyone any rights any more?

A very insidious thing is occurring on our television screens again - plus-size people are being treated as idiots with almost a suggestion that they don't deserve to have their own space on this planet!

There's a lot of talk about the animal kingdom and the terrible loss of many species from the world as we know it. Every animal deserves its place and space. And we all deserve our space and place too. Because if the so-called experts have their way, the curvaceous, healthy, beautiful-bodied, fully rounded person could become an endangered species if we don't watch out.

First Impressions!

Louise B was told about Francesca, an Italian lady, living in the Hills area. Francesca holds special, simple and basic Italian cooking classes, for both men and women.

Louise imagined Francesca's lifestyle, basing it on what she heard about Francesca's home, the car she drove, and other "gossip" that made its way around the local community. Taking into account the number of classes she took in a year. Louise's mind concentrated on the financial benefits and the fact that Francesca must be "well off".

She enrolled for a class herself. Upon meeting Francesca she was amazed at the beauty that radiated from this lady, a woman in her 50s with grey hair and many stories to tell from her lovely face. Francesca is also a big woman, well aware of her size, and completely aware of her own "self". Being paralysed from the waist down and in wheelchair, navigating around her kitchen as though it were a simple matter, Francesca is a fully rounded and self-accepting woman. Louise's opinion of Francesca changed from being envious of her and her "money", into admiration for a woman who rose above any pain and discomfort, and made life enjoyable and pleasant for other people.

Louise gained insights into "first impressions" following that class. I think we all need to step back at times and analyse just what our thoughts and assumptions may be, and whether they are fair and balanced.

CLOTHES with a purpose!

Recently K Mart had a big sale of clothing - men’s, women’s and childrens. Katie D of Monbulk went shopping.

“There was a lot on sale, but nothing I really wanted. So I went through to the Men’s section, thinking I’d look for something for my boyfriend. I noticed a couple of racks of Big Mens Wear - lovely big over-shirts; sweaters; and underwear.

I chose three big shirts, not for my boyfriend but for me, because I do a lot of bushwalking and even find larger clothes more comfortable when sitting in the car driving long distances. I then bought three Bonds men’s singlets. They’re low in the neckline, and roomy and long in the trunk. Under the big shirts they look just like a woman’s cami. I’ve cold-dyed one a lovely bright red. I also splashed out and bought a great v neck merino wool jumper.

Even bearing in mind they were all on sale, I have no doubt I came out of the shop with a lot more money left in my wallet than had they been women’s clothes. The shirts each cost $12 and the singlets were $6.99 while the jumper was $15.

Having planned a camping trip down at Wilson’s Promontory which is starting to rejuvenate following the bad bushfires earlier in the year, I’ve got my entire wardrobe for around $72, and I know they’ll last a lot longer than women’s clothing.

Another thing. They are made much better than many clothes I’ve bought from the women’s section - the sewing is stronger and the seams more generous and importantly the underarms of the shirts are ample for my big arms.”

It's a matter of having an open mind - too often we miss out on real bargains because we tell ourselves men's clothing are only for me. Another friend Mel from Sydney actually buys men's shirts when they're on "special" at David Jones - she always has compliments and is asked where does she buy them from? She even combines them with smart men's ties and wears them with smart, well fitting pants and lovely leather boots. You'd never think she is in her 70s - she always looks at least 20 years younger. And she's never had any botox either!

Food, food, glorious food

When I visited a favourite little cafe in Guildford recently, I chose some venison skewers served on 'cos lettuce and with pita bread, a small vegetable sausage cut in two, a small bowl of low fat yoghurt and some spicy no-sugar chutney. I reckon I did well. This was my main meal for the day, and apart from a small breakfast serving, I ate fruit throughout the day, with plenty of water.

With all the publicity about "obesity" and being told we're eating the wrong food and eating too much of the wrong food, it comes as a little bit of a surprise to hear that in a recent survey here in Australia, it's been found that one in five households are eating what everyone tells us we SHOULD be eating. That doesn't sound too different to people's choices of a decade or so ago, when you think about it.

Going further into the survey, meat and three vegetables is still the favourite meal. Well, we're told we should be eating more vegies but doesn't this contradict the theory that none of us are eating the preferred requirements?

Salads or vegetables are served as an accompaniment to meat, fish and chicken dishes. Salads go with lasagna and pasta meals. Stir frys are a regular weekly event and spaghetti bolognaise join stir frys as favourites. Many families eat fish at least three times a week. Chicken at least two.

Am I reading this all wrong or what? Because to me this sounds like what we should be eating.

Across the board however, the survey, carried out by Westinghouse (Australia?), found the following:

Top 10 home-cooked meals


1. Steak or chops with vegetables or salad
2. Roast/baked dinner
3. Spaghetti Bolognaise
4. Stir Fry
5. Seafood with vegetables or salad
6. Chicken pieces pan fried with sauce
7. Casserole
8. Barbeque
9. Schnitzel
10. Ready-made meals.

What the survey doesn't say, is that number 10 - ready-made meals are very often meals prepared by the person doing the cooking in the home (usually Mum) at the weekend in preparation of the week, and frozen in readiness to re-heat.
Quite often too, the ready-made meals are actually the remainders of the other meals, when too much has been cooked, and then frozen.

The re-emergency of home-cooking is taking everyone by storm. And it doesn't take much to see that people, even when pressed for time, and pressed for money (with the economic downturn) will return to their mothers and grand-mothers cooking books and hints and tips.

Another thing that I'm hearing all the time is this. Most people have taken note of the "obesity" obsession with the media and the government and done something positive about their own sizings of meals. The number of women I've spoken to who have willingly reduced the plate size from a "mains" to a side plate, have to be taken seriously. Yet, as they, and I've found, this has no effect on body weight (by this I mean losing weight). In other words people are NOT over-eating, and they're eating what they consider to be good food, and what the experts tell us we should be eating.

I can't remember when I last heard anyone saying they had "sweets" or "desserts" following their main meal of the day. People have cut these out. The sales of fruit confirm this, as almost everyone now has bowls of fruit readily available for both the kids and adults.

Plus-price for plus-size and Plus-sized jeans - plus-sized price?

Plus-sized clothing has been getting more than its fair share of press lately - and here's another piece of plus-sized news.

UK chain store New Look is under fire for charging £2 more for its range of plus-sized jeans (size 18 and above). The store explained its price rise, saying that while it normally absorbed the extra cost, occasionally it had to pass on the cost to consumers. The price increase echoes that of Marks and Spencer, another UK store, which last month agreed to waive a £2 surcharge for DD bras.

Our comments:

Let’s get things into perspective. Why do these retail/chain stores feel they have the right to charge women who are beyond a certain size range, more for their garments? I’ve heard every sort of excuse for more than a quarter of a century, and I still don’t believe them.

ALL women need clothes - the tiny slim and pert young woman KNOWS she can get all manner of garments to fit at low and reasonable prices, because of the huge turnover (claimed by retailers). The plus size has been persuaded over the years that she should pay extra. And she has paid extra for decade after decade. Yet the quality of her garment, the design and style of her garment, the colours available in her garments, and the workmanship of her garment is NOTHING in comparison to the young, hip, trendy and faddish garment.

Simple question. Why not amortise (the word is freely and loosely used, but you get the idea) the costs of designing and making up and retailing womens clothing across the whole size range? Use the best quality fabric; the best and flattering styles, and then charge the same price for the same/similar garment to all women, of all ages, and all shapes and sizes.

Don’t treat me, a plus sizer, as a person who must and should be discriminated against and charged extra because of who and what I am.

Would the commercial/retail world consider charging small and slim women an extra charge, because they’re too small? Let’s confront the issue, not hide behind all sorts of excuses. The world is made up of all kinds of shapes and sizes, and the sooner we come to terms with the fact that women’s fashion should be for ALL women (just as all women’s magazines should be for ALL women), then the sooner self-acceptance will become a fact of life.

The fashion industry and the media are playing games with us, and with our minds. They should be brought to task.

How do we see ourselves?

Look at yourself!

We do. Many times a day when passing a mirror or the reflections in shop windows. So often though we shy away from actually "looking" at ourselves because we fear being reminded that we are not exactly perfect or meet society's perception of what is ideal.

But if we are serious about changing attitudes, and perceptions, we have to make ourselves vulnerable to our own inspections. We have to expose our real personality and character from behind all those layers of protection we wear. Many of these layers are quite invisible and forgotten but have to be shed just as though they were fabric.

Next time you shower or bathe, take time out and actually look at yourself in the mirror. The whole you. Don't just look at the double chin, the drooping boobs, the fat sloppy tummy, the thick thighs, the bulging knees, and the thick ankles. Ankles? you ask - do I have any? Yes, they're there just as you have a waistline, and just as you have a decollete.

Take note of what you see. Thrust away any ideas of comparisons. In other words when you do look at yourself, don't see a fat and ungainly edition of Angelina Jolie or Nicole Kidman. See and appreciate the special limited edition of you! There is no other. You cannot be copied, or cloned. You are you, and you are unique. Even if you are a large, economy size!

And don't make excuses and don't feel guilty. Your body has a certain shape and size for very good reasons. Only one of those reasons MAY be because of the wrong diet or lack of moderation. We have to throw out these archaic ideas that just because we are taller, heavier, wider and broader than the so-called "ideal" women (who are after all in the main genetic freaks - not my words but womens clothing manufacturers. commentators and even some fashion writers), then it is because we over-eat. That's what we've been told for far too long, and unfortunately that's what we come to believe.

Stuff and nonsense! Let's get things into perspective. There are very good reasons why we sometimes eat food that is supposed to be bad for us. There are very good reasons why sometimes we eat too large meal or snack. But those reasons are not because we are undisciplined, it is because our body and yes our mind, tell us that this is the way we can handle situations, or people, and it gives us comfort combined with the incentive to move on from those particular situations and people. Psychologists give us all sorts of technical and chemical reasons, but we know what happens when we feel down, stressed, out of sorts, when we feel sad, and/or feel unloved or unappreciated. "Professional" people treat the chemical person, we live as a physical and spiritual person.

There's a lot of discussion recently about whether a fat person does in fact eat too much! This subject crops up every decade or so, and nothing ever changes in the attitudes of society or people who could make a difference in the public's perception and acceptance of the plus size (such as journalists, editors of women's magazines, as well as the fashion industry itself). And why don't things change? Because it's too darned easy to blame someone for their inappropriate attitude - they'd have to change policies within their industries and that wouldn't do. It wouldn't do at all! Because as a consequence they'd have to admit they were wrong.

Learn to like what you see. Let the female form be seen for what it is - it was created for procreation, and it was created for pleasure. Not lustful pleasure but personal pride. Something which is uniquely yours, and which you can enhance in so many wondrous ways - particularly if your imagination allows you the freedom to do so.

Taking control!

Focussing on "positive" and "feel-good" feelings means having to direct one's thoughts constantly from the negative. Because the negative comes upon us when least expected and can make for a very bad day.

Let's aspire to setting our own goals and dreams; choosing the path we want to follow. We don't have to follow the crowd; we don't have to be the same as everyone else; we don't have to look like everyone else and we can have fun in pursuing whatever it is we want to pursue (whether a career, a hob by, or even a man if that's the way you want to go!).

We have the choice to do things at our own pace and in our own space.

We don't have to make excuses; we don't have to accept feelings of guilt (gee, you have put on weight, haven't you?); we don't have to accept discrimination or indifference or ignorance or arrogance.

Plus-Size!

You and I have been told, and been made to believe, that we are what is commonly and rudely termed - “plus size”. What that means exactly no one has been able to satisfactorily explain to me in a rational and intelligent way - if you know, then please enlighten me.

Being “plus size” has meant, for me, that I have had to combat bad manners and inappropriate attitudes from other people, since my childhood. It remains so today. For to too many people "plus-size" means being out of control and fat. Look around you, you'll see plenty of plus-size women who are NOT fat. They are perfectly proportioned regardless of their size.

I’m told that discrimination is no longer legal or acceptable. however no one has told the legislators that discrimination based on size has not even been confronted let alone dispensed with. It may not be legal but it certainly is allowed.

And by whom? You name it. Manufacturers, designers and retailers of clothing. The media - and this includes newspapers, magazines, and publishers of books - how many novels have you read lately with a buxom plus size female as it’s heroine? Editors and features writers, television current affairs anchor people as well as journalists, television drams and sit-coms take delight in making fun or being objectionable to people who do not have the "ideal" figure or looks. If the "worm turned", and suddenly thin or skeletal was considered to be "unacceptable" you'd be deafened by the screams of those thinner women. Yet, we're expected to accept their inappropriate and bad behaviour without a murmur.

Then we come to health professionals. Many GPs are fast coming to the notion that patients are people, thank goodness, and that fat people are just as worthy of respect as smaller people with the same needs and wants. It hasn’t always been so. But when it comes to health sports clubs or fitness centres, then the only way they will look at you is if you are a potential client eager to lose weight. Try and tell them that all you want to do is get fit, not necessarily lose weight, and they’ll give you a horrified look. They really don’t want to know you. Yet you'd think they'd be eager for you to join their clubs in order to prove that being healthy and fit is desirous. But no, they "see" the size and looks of the plus-sizer, and make their own assumptions. The sooner health clubs have classes at which plus-sizers are not only welcomed but sought, the sooner we'll find opportunities to enjoy better fitness without having to go through embarrassing moments in the presence of smaller and more petite women.

As plus-sizers, we deserve the right to enjoy life and that includes fitness, without being harrassed into undergoing weight loss within that goal.

Dressing to suit your Figure!

Wrap dresses are terrific for women with round tummies. The draping is attractive and the wrap dress allows you to define your waistline - even if you thought you didn't have one!

While colours give a lot of variation, black or solid colours will always be stand-outs.

Has anyone seen any Wrap dresses for the plus-size here in Australia - I've been looking around for a while now and I can't find any - so far.

While talking about flattering styles, I thoroughly recommend the Marilyn Convertible dress from Monif C (USA). This garment allows you to change the styling in countless ways, and Monif even has a number of videos on YouTube showing various ways of wearing this particular dress.

Visit Monif C on www.monifc.com