Comparing Yourself to Others

"Don't compare your life to others.
You have no idea what their journey is all about"

It's a negative emotion and a waste of energy and it's selfish.

We spend far too much time in comparing ourselves to others. Whether it's their looks, their size, their possessions, their career, their homes, their families, and even their holidays. There used to be an old saying "keeping up with the Jones'" and though most of us didn't fall into that trap, there are times when we could quite easily do so. It's called envy.

As with most things in life though, there are always allowable exceptions. To be envious that a woman has undergone cosmetic surgery and come out of it looking twenty years younger, with a figure that even Elle McPherson would pay squillions for, has to be ridiculous. If someone has the money, and the determination to do likewise under the surgeon's knife, then that's their decision, but we who are not so much concerned with being the same or copying what the first woman did, are probably much more contented with our lot. And this shows in our life-style, our behaviour (to others and to ourselves), and frankly in our facial looks.

We're told we should be beautiful - but story-book sketches are not what beauty is about. A lovely woman with a smutty tongue is not beautiful. Beauty has to be the whole woman, not just the bits you see. Look around you and carefully study older women - serene, no wrinkles, beautiful complexions, happy dispositions, and laughter. Yet, listen to their stories and you'll be surprised and inspired by stories of battles, wars, illnesses, losses, pain, suffering. And still they live, love and laugh.

Comparing your age, your looks, your size and your shape is counter-productive. The other person is the other person. You are you. And you need to come to terms with who "you" are, not waste time in trying to emulate another person, who's nature and personality will always be an unknown to you.

"Oh, she's got this, and she's got that". How often do you hear this, and have you even said it yourself? Turn this around and ask yourself, "what have I got?" And you'll be surprised at the list of positive things that will grow as you think about them.

Plus-price for plus-size and Plus-sized jeans - plus-sized price?

Plus-sized clothing has been getting more than its fair share of press lately - and here's another piece of plus-sized news.

UK chain store New Look is under fire for charging £2 more for its range of plus-sized jeans (size 18 and above). The store explained its price rise, saying that while it normally absorbed the extra cost, occasionally it had to pass on the cost to consumers. The price increase echoes that of Marks and Spencer, another UK store, which last month agreed to waive a £2 surcharge for DD bras.

Our comments:

Let’s get things into perspective. Why do these retail/chain stores feel they have the right to charge women who are beyond a certain size range, more for their garments? I’ve heard every sort of excuse for more than a quarter of a century, and I still don’t believe them.

ALL women need clothes - the tiny slim and pert young woman KNOWS she can get all manner of garments to fit at low and reasonable prices, because of the huge turnover (claimed by retailers). The plus size has been persuaded over the years that she should pay extra. And she has paid extra for decade after decade. Yet the quality of her garment, the design and style of her garment, the colours available in her garments, and the workmanship of her garment is NOTHING in comparison to the young, hip, trendy and faddish garment.

Simple question. Why not amortise (the word is freely and loosely used, but you get the idea) the costs of designing and making up and retailing womens clothing across the whole size range? Use the best quality fabric; the best and flattering styles, and then charge the same price for the same/similar garment to all women, of all ages, and all shapes and sizes.

Don’t treat me, a plus sizer, as a person who must and should be discriminated against and charged extra because of who and what I am.

Would the commercial/retail world consider charging small and slim women an extra charge, because they’re too small? Let’s confront the issue, not hide behind all sorts of excuses. The world is made up of all kinds of shapes and sizes, and the sooner we come to terms with the fact that women’s fashion should be for ALL women (just as all women’s magazines should be for ALL women), then the sooner self-acceptance will become a fact of life.

The fashion industry and the media are playing games with us, and with our minds. They should be brought to task.

The BOLD Shoulder is back!

Do you recall your mother saying, "what goes around comes around?" She wasn't necessarily talking about the washing machine. Most likely it was in relation to fashion.

Yes, fashion. That "thing" that the media and the fashion industry tell us we must obey and wear what they say, when they say, where they say and how they say. And like good little girls, we take notice and as often as not take their demands as "advice" and follow the rules they set down.

Well the latest news is going to please some of us, and dismay others. Because whether you want to believe it or not, the shoulder pad is back! With a vengeance. It's bigger than even back in the 80s- who can remember "Dynasty" and sultry Joan Collins with her wardrobe of magnificent obsessional clothes?

In my humble opinion excessive shoulder pads can make a slim woman look totally top heavy. Because with shoulders that are wider than her hips and thighs combined, she's more like to topple over than to carry herself with grace and ease. (With we plus sizers can do, with style and panache.)

Am I being critical? I guess so. But as a plus size woman, with plenty of amplitude, spread proportionately (and in some places a little disproportionately) over and around my body, I've always loved shoulder pads.

I find that shoulder pads (not the tiny little things that look like a cotton wool face freshener, but a decent sized, padded pad) lift the garment nicely so that my bosoms and cleavage are displayed with more curvature than just plonked on. I'm talking about the garment being plonked on, not the cleavage!

Seriously though, if you tend to read the women's magazines and features pages as well as the odd page of "Style" in your local weekend newspaper, look at which is shown on the catwalk, and then get out some photos of your Mum (or even yourself if you liked the shoulder pads back in the 80s) and get ahold of some magazines or even books from the library depicting fashion where shoulder pads were worn, and see for yourself the many benefits and advantages and enhancements that are available with the humble shoulder pad. Don't necessarily go overboard, but have fun!