"But wait a minute. Is it so hard to deal with all the changes that we see in the mirror, and feel in our body? Is it all impossible to overcome? Does it mean losing all sense of self and importance?
Even if alone, are there ways of getting back some sense of esteem and confidence. Can we see the silver lining in the dark clouds that block out our horizons?
Importantly, is there such a thing as “can’t do”?
I’m reminded time & time again of a little story we were told as children. The story of the little red train, trying to reach the top of the hill. She (I think of him as “she”), felt failure, she wasn’t sure of herself, she’d lost all confidence and thought she’d never, ever ever, reach the top. But something inside her told her that she had the capacity to do anything she wanted to do, or even that she had to do, if she really wanted to. Her sense of “can’t do” became “I can do”. I often use the words myself when self-doubt attacks me: “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. In fact I know I can” The more she thought about it, the more determined she became, until she actually huffed and puffed and pulled herself to the top of the hill.
We’re like that. There are times when we feel defeated. When we just “can’t” reach the top of the hill. When everything around us is negative. And even our inner thoughts about ourselves are negative and we can’t “see” that we have the power to turn the “can’t” into a “can do”.
I’m not saying it’s easy. Because it darn well isn’t. And it takes a lot of determination and mindset to turn the tide. Is it worth it in the long run? Definitely.
It means learning to “keep focus”. Focus on what’s important in the whole picture. You, and me, and our life, and how we see it and how we want to live it, for us as well as our family. No excuses to others who want to have a piece of us and who are determined that we don’t know best. No guilt feelings acquired from past experiences and carried through to “now”. No wasting time!
The here and now is what it’s about. YOURS and MINE. Here and now. We know we are accountable for our actions and our responsibilities to others. We also know that overcoming what seems to be insurmountable does more for our confidence than almost anything else. We KNOW that we’ll be a better person once we have overcome the negativity.
And the woman in the mirror will be grateful too. A new light will flash in her eyes; she will smile more often; she will let us see our “good” points more easily. She will enjoy herself, and in so doing, we’ll enjoy ourselves too!
Because to age gracefully & graciously is something we all aim for; to age outrageously is something we want to do and look forward to doing.
© 2009 Zuzu
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