Comparing Yourself to Others

"Don't compare your life to others.
You have no idea what their journey is all about"

It's a negative emotion and a waste of energy and it's selfish.

We spend far too much time in comparing ourselves to others. Whether it's their looks, their size, their possessions, their career, their homes, their families, and even their holidays. There used to be an old saying "keeping up with the Jones'" and though most of us didn't fall into that trap, there are times when we could quite easily do so. It's called envy.

As with most things in life though, there are always allowable exceptions. To be envious that a woman has undergone cosmetic surgery and come out of it looking twenty years younger, with a figure that even Elle McPherson would pay squillions for, has to be ridiculous. If someone has the money, and the determination to do likewise under the surgeon's knife, then that's their decision, but we who are not so much concerned with being the same or copying what the first woman did, are probably much more contented with our lot. And this shows in our life-style, our behaviour (to others and to ourselves), and frankly in our facial looks.

We're told we should be beautiful - but story-book sketches are not what beauty is about. A lovely woman with a smutty tongue is not beautiful. Beauty has to be the whole woman, not just the bits you see. Look around you and carefully study older women - serene, no wrinkles, beautiful complexions, happy dispositions, and laughter. Yet, listen to their stories and you'll be surprised and inspired by stories of battles, wars, illnesses, losses, pain, suffering. And still they live, love and laugh.

Comparing your age, your looks, your size and your shape is counter-productive. The other person is the other person. You are you. And you need to come to terms with who "you" are, not waste time in trying to emulate another person, who's nature and personality will always be an unknown to you.

"Oh, she's got this, and she's got that". How often do you hear this, and have you even said it yourself? Turn this around and ask yourself, "what have I got?" And you'll be surprised at the list of positive things that will grow as you think about them.

CLOTHES with a purpose!

Recently K Mart had a big sale of clothing - men’s, women’s and childrens. Katie D of Monbulk went shopping.

“There was a lot on sale, but nothing I really wanted. So I went through to the Men’s section, thinking I’d look for something for my boyfriend. I noticed a couple of racks of Big Mens Wear - lovely big over-shirts; sweaters; and underwear.

I chose three big shirts, not for my boyfriend but for me, because I do a lot of bushwalking and even find larger clothes more comfortable when sitting in the car driving long distances. I then bought three Bonds men’s singlets. They’re low in the neckline, and roomy and long in the trunk. Under the big shirts they look just like a woman’s cami. I’ve cold-dyed one a lovely bright red. I also splashed out and bought a great v neck merino wool jumper.

Even bearing in mind they were all on sale, I have no doubt I came out of the shop with a lot more money left in my wallet than had they been women’s clothes. The shirts each cost $12 and the singlets were $6.99 while the jumper was $15.

Having planned a camping trip down at Wilson’s Promontory which is starting to rejuvenate following the bad bushfires earlier in the year, I’ve got my entire wardrobe for around $72, and I know they’ll last a lot longer than women’s clothing.

Another thing. They are made much better than many clothes I’ve bought from the women’s section - the sewing is stronger and the seams more generous and importantly the underarms of the shirts are ample for my big arms.”

It's a matter of having an open mind - too often we miss out on real bargains because we tell ourselves men's clothing are only for me. Another friend Mel from Sydney actually buys men's shirts when they're on "special" at David Jones - she always has compliments and is asked where does she buy them from? She even combines them with smart men's ties and wears them with smart, well fitting pants and lovely leather boots. You'd never think she is in her 70s - she always looks at least 20 years younger. And she's never had any botox either!

Things are really getting out of hand!

It seems that governments are intent on dismissing the importance of human beings who are deemed to be "larger" than the accepted norm. Now what the norm is, or should be, is very debatable and no one seems inclined to actually face up to the problem and the discrimination that abounds within society as a whole.

Denying people the right to be healthy at whatever size they may be, by pressuring them to become thinner at whatever cost (whether financial, emotional or physical) is downright wrong. The larger person is becoming larger for many reasons, and certainly not all of those reasons relate to eating too much or even to not exercising enough. The controversy continues as to what is in the food that we are eating or being provided with, and until such time as someone with any nous does some serious research, then we'll be none the wiser.

But that doesn't get away from the fact that "serious" papers and scientific research are being published that really stretch the concept of common sense. The latest research deals with the alleged assumption that "fat" people are less intelligent than thin people. Some countries are extending this hatred towards "bigger" people to extremes.

The suggestion is that fat people will be charged more for: train/tram/bus fares (they already are made to abide by airline rules that two seats have to be purchased and paid for before a larger person can travel). We already have health agencies and hospitals refusing to treat or even admit people who are over a designed BMI (even though in many cases those BMIs were acceptable as recently as three months ago). Larger pregnant women are being refused admittance into local or nearby hospitals for the birth of their babies. There's more suggestions - fat people should pay more for food (in other words does this suggestion imply that "food police" will be on the staff of all supermarkets and will go through your trolley before you enter the cashier area, and they'll mark the items that have to have a special tax on them?). Larger people already pay a lot extra for clothes and shoes.

Then there are the restrictions being put upon children. A small 3 year old (confirmed by the Baby Welfare Sister as being well within the weight limits set, and certainly not fat) was recently ostracised at a childcare agency. The mother was asked to put the child on a diet, otherwise she would not be accepted at the centre. The mother took the case to the media, and with substantiated documentation from doctors, the welfare department and the health department in her hands, the mother took the child from the centre, and enrolled her in another in the same suburb. The publicity the initial centre received was certainly not good. But think about how the little 3 year felt - already being subjected to discrimination and unjustified hostility because of her chubbiness. In fact as a result of the media publicity the little one was chosen to become the "face" of children's wear for a leading Australian department store and appears in all their publicity modelling the babies/toddlers clothes.

School tuck shops have been warned that they must only sell food that the government decrees. "School police" (obviously teachers who will be chosen by the school principal) will check all the children's lunch boxes to see they don't have food that is not "on the list of acceptable food". Surely this is going too far?