I wish my bust was .......

It doesn’t matter what age size, women are, we all need the same TLC as far as our emotions and feelings are concerned. We need to know, and to be told, that we are special human beings just as we are, right now. Not when we’ve shed a 100 lbs, or had a face-lift or regular botox applications or WLS or lapband surgery.

When women get together you can hear some strange things. When you have women of all ages, shapes and sizes, you hear some incredible and outlandish things. When women let their hair down (particularly the shy ones) and confide one to the other, you’re going to learn a lot of things about life, including sex. But occasionally you hear something that makes you stop and say, “hey, this is getting serious.”

Such was the case at a small group meeting of women the other day. The subject got around to sizes. No, not the sizes in clothing. But the sizes of busts.

It’s not uncommon for most of us to talk about our anatomy. We see our bodies in the mirror, we see them in the shop windows as we walk by, we sometimes “see” them in the eyes of our family and friends, when they mistakenly try to convince us that we’ve got to change and lose weight. We may be completely happy with the size we are; there may be some of us who would like to lose a little weight to feel more comfortable, and there may be women who want to lose lots. But discussions quite often go deeper than that. Of course I’ll not use real names but the stories are true, believe me.

Deb stood up at her table and said to all and sundry. “I wish my had bigger boobs. I look like a school boy. Neville’s always making comments, especially now I’m in my 50s.” Laughter went around the room. Glenda piped up: “so what are you going to do about it or them?” Deb smiled and said, “absolutely nothing. I’ll just spend more of Neville’s money and buy clothes that make me look sexy, just like the stick-thin models on the catwalk. Anyway I know Don likes me this way. He’s always suggesting we got for a midnight swim, in the bare.” Then Jenny stood up and said, “Deb you’re a fool - get some breast implants. Flaunt yourself.”

Then Emme took the flow. “Well, I don't know about everyone else, but I wish I had smaller breasts, in fact I wouldn’t mind not having any at all. They just get in the way. I’ve already had breast reductions and I’m waiting to have a further procedure.”

I wasn’t sure where this was leading, but I had a slight clue. My friend Helen, a beautiful young woman in her early 40s, who dresses elegantly and stylishly, then said quietly, “ I realise most of the talk about busts has been lighthearted, but why do women feel as though they’re not feminine if they’re small and boyish or big and heavy in the bust? If you’re healthy, and you see yourself as a lovely woman whether you’re small or big, then why not be truly satisfied.”

She went on, “is surgery really the answer? Because I’d like you to think about this. I have no breasts. They’ve been surgically and radically removed because of cancer. Implants aren't recommended, I don’t have an option of getting enhancements or of having reductions.. When I hear women complain about the size of their breasts and whether they’re drooping or sagging, or look like little boys, I think to myself if only .....”

Helen continued, “But when I stand in front of the mirror I no longer look the scars and think again of the the wishful dreams of having a sexy looking torso. I look at myself and say, 'I am everything a woman needs to be.' My husband agrees”.

She sat down to a stunning silence and then one after another of the woman started clapping their hands. They surrounded Helen asking all sorts of questions about her surgery and following treatment. They wanted to know how she coped with feelings of loss and what kept her going. They learned a lot that day.

It takes a moment of thought to focus on what we really want from life. Will we sacrifice aging and wrinkles, and sagging and droopy bodies, merely for the thrill of having a Barbie like appearance, when that is not reality at all? Wrinkles and aging lines and busts that have travelled lengthy journeys and carried us through all sorts of life-experiences should be acknowledged and seen to be unique possessions.